I'm posting something that many of us have already read, but I'm putting in here because I've been feeling like this a lot more lately. Could have a lot to do with the fact that I'm graduating in May (for real this time) plus I'm just tryna make a lot of life changes at the same time.
Started the weight loss plan for real today. I realized that I'm not as out of shape as I thought. I'm just lazy when it comes to working out. I don't ever wanna go work out but when I start I usually don't wanna leave. I said I was gonna work out for 20 minutes and left the gym today an hour later. I know I'm strange. And hopefully by the end of 2006 I'll be skinny too. I'm giving myself an entire year because I got on a scale today for the first time in a cool minute and realized that I have a lot more to lose than I thought.
Could also have to do with the fact that I'm taking classes in so many fields this semester not directly related to my field. I sat in a three hour intellectual property class on Monday and came out ready to apply for Law school. Who knows how I'll feel in May. Tomorrow is my first entrepreneurship class. Surround me with 70 MBA students and who knows what I'll start thinking about. Plus I just took one of those random internet quizzes that tells you what advanced degree I should pursue. Guess what the results were...yup an MBA. The only good thing about all of this is that I know that these options are still open to me should I decide to pursue them. Nothing worse than wanting to do something and then figuring out that you can't do them.
So here's to indecision and confusion! God I love being twenty-something!
Being Twenty-Something
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.....
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!!!!
- Brenda Della Casa
