Just Gotta Make It

OK so I know it's been awhile since I've blogged but I've been tryna to get focused man. I've been reading everyone else's blogs and I almost posted like 3 times but didn't have the strength. But right now I just gotta get some of this out.

Have you ever been trying to change so many things in your life at once that you just overwhelm yourself and give up on it all? I almost did that about 4 times in the past 2 months. The first goal is to re-focus on this engineering thing. I've gotta get outta school, I don't think I'll be able to take this much longer. I've realized that I'm extra distracted by stuff now because I don't have a good enough foundation in the basics of my major. So by the time I figure out what's going on in class, everyone else is already 3 subjects ahead....or at least it feels that way. So I'm rededicating myself this time around to not only learning the stuff for my current classes but to go back and re-teach myself the stuff I missed when I wasn't going to class earlier in life. Wish me luck...

Also I've decided that I can't pull my GPA up cuz I'm taking too many classes at the same time. So unfortunately I'm taking fewer classes at one time which means...I'm gonna be here longer (booooo). I'm taking two classes this semester and probably two next semester. And in May 2006 if I don't have a 3.0 I'm just gonna leave, cuz it's obviously not meant to be.

In addition to all of my academic pursuits I've decided that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've started trying to eat a hell of a lot better which would be easy if I ever had time to cook for myself. Why don't I have time? See the above paragraphs if you've forgotten already. I've also discovered that the reason I don't workout consistently at the gym on campus because it's FREE. I have no obligation to go. So I've obligated myself by paying to join 24 Hour Fitness. I have a session with my personal trainer today =0).

All this change has come right around my 25th birthday (damn I'm old). I feel like I haven't really been living life fully, and that I need to get these things in order first so that I can move forward. Right now I feel extremely stagnant.

One thing is for sure though. I've got way more determination right now than I've had in a long time. Like the homie Trey Songz said "I just gotta make it..." (Oh yeah, you gotta pick up that Trey Songz CD...it's FIRE!)